Story about a girl

A year has passed and nothing really has happened till now...

She was there near the lake when it all happened.

She saw him bursting into flames, she could do nothing but watch as her friend was burned to ashes. The road she chose had wrong ending. That morning she had had letter from her old classmate to meet at the lake afternoon. She wanted to see him so much that she took a longer road and set foot at midday. Whae wanted to visit alone all the sites where they had played when they were younger, the old mines that were closed now, the old ghost motel that hadn't been used for ages and the truckstop where 5 mighty looking trucks were at stop. 

She knew she could never return to here after todays afternoon. Like a whisper sounded her voice that eagerd for freedom. She had never been free from parents reign. Till few days ago before her dad died in a car crash, something like had happened before, but only she could remember it. Her ties with parents loosened and she was almost free. Just few more days and she could really be free, and celebrate it but now there was nothing to celebrate. She was very out of mood but stilled wanted to see her friend from old times.

The woods from which she passed though felt like burning ashes to her. She didn't really noticed it till it was all over, then she noticed that the trail where she had came had been burnt down. She tryed to save him but it was too late, and not even the cool lake water couldn't extinguish those flames. Althoguh she didn't feel those flames burning at all when she tryed to carry him to water.

After that she fell unconcious and woke up at home. She didn't really know what to think, had that really happened what she just saw. She was coming down the stairs when she noticed a police officer at doorstep and then she fell into herself... "It really happened..." she said, and then the police officer noticed that she was sitting at stairs hands over her head trying to block any thoughts away. She was still sitting when policeofficer went to aske her if she could ask some questions. But girl said she didn't know anything, only that she had gone there because her old friend invited her to the lakeside. And fell unconcious when she saw her friend bursting into flames...

Sun shines through gloomy days

Today felt like a sunny day, although it really was gray and raining all day long.

Somehow I managed to keep myself up in school, but got bored in literature because it was so damn boring. Gloom that was in the skies around me didn't affect me at all. I got home and for some reason didn't hit bed to sleep 2 hrs off. But instead I was making myself fastfood and eating and did something in internet. But then I went to swim, but as sometimes happen we have to play waterpolo with a ball which diameter is 1 m, was tough.

After that 3.5 km walk to home was refresshing. Listening Billy Talent and Emilie Autumn whil dasing through the shadowy streets of Tartu, past the Pirogov park past the church ruins down the shadoy stairs and into light yet again. I enjoyed it, like I haven't done it a long time.

Today has been one day that rarely happens, more than 4 people try to get my attention. I didn't know what I did to get so many people's attention...

Oh well tomorrow is history test over 1st World War... gonna try to study little more about it...

Monster at bay

For myself I'm a monster, but outside I look just like normal, everything inside will be wrecked soon if I don't bother doin anything. I will not let the beast out though it wants and tries to escape. My mind is blocking it till the very end, it never rests. If I try to sleep, I see future, waht would happen if the beast is let out. I don't want it. I will not let it out. I keep it at bay, till the end of my days... 

Putting him to sleep is like trying to get what you see in your reash but never get your hands on it. He just is there and waits, till I let my guard down and then he takes control of me.

I don't know what will happen if he get's out... 

but it will not be good... 

I hope my mind stays sane if not there is nothing left for me to collect after sanity is restored... 

Just things

For a couple of days I've been sketching only one figure...
I wonder why, it is just so in my head that I can't get it out...
Every time I grab a pen and try to draw that 1 pic just comes to my mind with different outfits...
It's so simple to draw it, but harder to add something to there ...

Can't get it out my head...
Can't leave it alone...
Don't know why...
Don't want to forget...

Looks like OC...
But not really an OC...
I don't have this kind of imagination...
Nevermind it's so meaningless after all...

Something I did...

A good song I found thx to friend while driving from one birthday last weekend.

Last weekend was great...
Except the part where I drank 35% pepper drink with wermouth, after a lot of rum&colas.
Sauna was perfect there but seems I managed somehow to get burnmark to my shoulder and it's been annyoing me now. Playin Alias till 5.30 am was fun, and somewhat a challange, after game ended I fell to sleep so fast I noticed to wake up at 11am.

Now I can't go to any party in a month or so because of the badminton tournaments happening almost every saturday and it's a 2-3hr drive to those places. That extends my school week by atleast a day. Onyl Sunday left for resting.

Animatsuri is coming soon. Thinking if I should partake in flashmob at Animatsuri or not... I don't think I have time to learn it fully and knowing my skills dancing... I will clearly fail.

I have the best song to add to the end of this post.

P.S. TAT is great band

It's Autumn already?

It's been long I last wrote here.

The summer took it's toll, but now I'm back.

Nothing interesting haven't happened yet. Or no spontanous storys haven't jumped into my mind yet.

Just something not important

Just why I get this feeling that something important is missed or is yet to happen. It is like silence before the storm, even if the storm is a little thunder on a sunny day. Thunderclouds over my head are not an uncommon sight. They are there like forever and never gone. Even if I'm happy for second they come back and I put on my pessimistic face. It's like I'm not there for others. Just a little black pixel on some politician's suit in TV that has only one meaning in life.
But what is Life? Is life an imitation of death, or the simulation you do before you die? Less you know about life the better because it will make your head explode in time if you think too much about it. Thats how geniuses are born, they just think about life, but meanwhile find out a little thing about life worth of documentation.