Irrationality in rationality

Oh well. New year well spent... first day at school went quite good even. And I have already planned next 4 weekends already.

It seems I'm writing less than I did before the new year. Maybe it's because I now have something to do with my time; not to write irrational things that only I can understand(I still can write them, but it's no use to write because I'm not the only one who reads them). Confusion was the best, is the best way I write in my blog. No use to find rationality here, because it's irrational babble I'm blowing here. Just some random thoughts/things from my mind. Like I think before I sleep, like 2 maybe 3 hours I lay still and my mind works as fast as Mach 5.

Only thing is my thoughts are confusing me. Some pictures from future like some girl I know starting barfight over with other trying to get it under control it gets bigger and bigger. In the end I leave the bar and only 1 girl comes out of there to seek me because others are conserned by killing the contestants or injurying them.

 Usless bullshit I'm talking. Never shall I talk about the point, it's useful to go round the matter not into it the right way. Who can understand, who can't.

There is no devil inside me, it's just a fistsize red thingy what keeps me alive. Alive is well said because I feel like dissapoint at my **********s, well actualy not for one, but I plan to be off from #D till friday. Don't think it's a good idea, but lets try. If I go there again before friday I'm gonna blog again...

Wish I hadn't said that last sentence...

It's just wrong

It's wrong to say I'm happy
It's wrong to say I'm sad
I could make those cute eyes of a puppy
But now the idea seems so bad

I wonder why
I said bye
Without a blink
And turned my back to you
So  I wouldn't think
About you

I don't know what I need
I don't know what I want

Why this keeps happening to me?
I don't know.