Empty shell on the beach

Feeling like an empty shell lying on the beach, waiting for someone to pick it up and throw it back to the Ocean of Hate. If you find it then just throw it back, no use to take it with you. Inside is nothing left. You may break it, throw it back, hide in the sand, I wouldn't care because left alone is best for me.
As tide comes I shall travel again in the Ocean of Hate where I can be free till I find another beach where to stop hoping you wouldn't find me there. Because in the shell there can be life still, but very, very little.
Would you take it with you, you make a mistake. That little piece of life, hope will grow bigger and bigger. Till it becomes monster and you just take it back to where you found it. And throw it back to Ocean of Hate.
Yet another one finds it and so shall the circle continue till one day that ray of hope in the shell is almost gone and  someone finds it and from that day, the shell will become what it used to be.
But to get out of the circle will take time, days, months, years, decades, centurys maybe even a millenia till it finds true happyness.

Falling apart/Walking away

If it happened once it can happen again. Trembling, crackling inside without knowing what to do next. From when it got so sad again? Life is cruel but fair. One second I'm walking home with friends, the next I'm in dark graveyard alone and thinking why I'm so alone, when I had friends just a seconds ago around me. Am I destined to walk the Earth alone forever?
Happyness just walking away from me like, I from my friend usually do just sneaking away without saying goodbye when it seems right to leave or I'm tired.
Giving myself bit by tiny bit to others without gaining anything from it. I can't stop doing it, cannot change who I am. I only get back something that makes me sad. Why does it happen... I try to make others happy and I gain nothing except misery of it.

Time has passed

Too long has passed since I bothered to write something.
So many things has happened meanwhile. I got my Birthday party planned, one silver medal in badminton tournament last weekend.
Weekend before that I was with friends(like 60 ppl) at baka.ee winter rally. Was fun though, I mostly spent time with one person. Played pool for 1,5 hours at midnight, lost the game because neither I nor my partner didn't believe to heart of the balls. I got some new friends from there too, with who was very good and interesting to talk. While party lasted till morning I went to sleep at 4 or so.
While coming back from there our car drifted a little and then was in wall of snow, atleast we got out quick as there was a police convoy (highway interceptor, patrol car and minivan) few minutes behind us. But when I got home, I had massive headache.
I have to mention that I had week or 2 before similiar incident while going to family friends place 20 km out of town. But then it was only ice what was on the road and we did 360 while going with 80 km/h before landing in wall of snow.